The Illusion of Inclusion: Why We Left NYC, and Why We Had to Come Back

During the height of the pandemic, like many families, we made a difficult choice: we left New York City.

At the time, NYC — a place we once called a haven for diversity and opportunity — felt increasingly hostile to families like mine. Neurodiverse children were being forgotten in remote learning plans. Services vanished. Support teams dissolved overnight. And as the mother of an autistic child, I found myself battling a system that had become, quite frankly, allergic to difference.

So we moved to Florida, hoping for a slower pace, more space, and the possibility of rebuilding in a place that seemed to promise simplicity.

But what we found in Florida was far worse.

When “Less Bureaucracy” Means No Support

Florida’s reputation for fewer regulations and faster systems might sound appealing — until you’re a parent of a neurodiverse child in need of critical early intervention, therapies, or special education support.

What we encountered was a fragmented system with:

• Minimal early intervention access

• Long waitlists and few bilingual providers

• Schools unequipped to handle behavioral or communication differences

• Professionals lacking cultural competence

• A dangerous focus on discipline over understanding

“It was appalling. I met mothers who had been waiting over a year for a diagnosis and were told their only option was to homeschool or give up entirely. Florida didn’t just fail my son — it failed an entire community of children who need more, not less.”— Dr. Lissarette Nisnevich

For a state with so much sunshine, it was dark.

Coming Back to New York: Not Perfect, But Possible

We returned to NYC not because it had become a model of neurodiverse inclusion — but because, in comparison, it still offers possibility.

New York has:

• More specialized providers

• Greater advocacy networks

• Diversity in schools and practitioners

• Progressive policies (when implemented correctly)

But even here, we are not where we need to be. Resources vary drastically by borough. Parents still wait months for diagnoses. Inclusion is more performative than practiced in many classrooms.

🧩 Did you know?A 2022 report by the Autism Society revealed that 1 in 5 families of autistic children consider moving to another state due to inadequate local services.

Even the “best” place to raise a neurodiverse child in America is still failing many of us.

This Is Bigger Than One Family

Our story is just one of thousands. Families are being forced to move state to state, not for opportunity — but for basic services. For respect. For access.

This is not sustainable. Neurodiversity should not be a privilege reserved for certain zip codes or tax brackets.

We need:

• ✅ Universal early screening across all communities

• ✅ Fully funded and enforced IEP teams

• ✅ Culturally and linguistically responsive services

• ✅ Educator training beyond compliance

• ✅ Mental health support for parents and caregivers

• ✅ Federal accountability for consistent services across states

  
  

Why I Keep Speaking Up

I am an educator. A developmental psychologist. An advocate.And most importantly — a mother.

I write this not to shame cities or states, but to illuminate a national crisis in neurodiverse support. I’ve seen what happens when systems fail. I’ve lived it. And I will keep speaking up until we stop forcing families to choose between broken options.

Let’s build something better. Together.

—Dr. Lissarette Nisnevich

Mother | Educator | Neurodiversity Advocate | Founder of The Nisnevich Institute